Fair Delusions
by EscapeToCity
Summary: Dick has to believe in them...there's nothing else left


FAIR DELUSIONS

By: EscapeToCity

Notes: None of these characters are mine. They are the property of DC Comics/Time Warner.

Please read and review if you have the time.

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He waited there. He waited and glanced and hoped and breathed and dwelt under the towers, watching the sky.

He did not see the jet casting aloft, above. Nor did he see Big Blue.

He knew things had changed, had shifted and that she might not take him back. It might be too late. She hadn't returned his most recent calls. She was with someone new? No. No. Never. They were meant to be.

"I can't see you anymore. I'm sorry. I love you."

Alfred told him to give her space. Told him that she was hurt. Changed. Her heart had grown frosty and her gaze was fixed on bigger things, broader problems, problems that could be solved, issues that could be resolved with the fist and the keyboard.

"It hurts too much."

Dinah told him to back off. An edge in her eyes, her tendons flexing ever so slightly.

"Leave her be. She needs somebody new. Someone who won't hurt her."

It was none of her business, he knew--or was it? Dinah had been a much better best friend than he had been as a lover.

"Maybe she doesn't know what she wants."

Helena told him this, a gleam in her eye, but not the gleam from before--Huntress was free now, free of the need for Bat approval and acceptance. She was a woman in full, proud yet merciful and she stroked his sweaty hair and offered him a place to crash for the night.

"But you're sleeping on the couch."

He turned her down. She was still gorgeous, the eyes and the passion and the raw primal ferocity of her pose yet the lust was faded and lost to the past. Besides, she already had a new bedmate that seemed to also operate as her chauffeur, fan club, flunkie and cook (his name was Josh or something).

Dick doesn't want to share.

"Not tonight."

He never liked to share. Bruce taught him sharing was for the weak. Keep all the cards close to your vest. Never open up. He'd tried to break free from that training, from that antisocial indoctrination; Kory had helped, Donna had helped, Raven had swept his mind so many times attempting to cleanse him of the angst--all to no avail.

He tried to conjure up Alfred's voice. Caring and compassionate and accepting Alfred. Always logical, always sincere.

"Let her go. Call Miss Starr. Return that message that enchanting Miss Kane left for you."

He wanted to move on but refused. He loved her, loves her, craves her, needs her. He knows she is afraid now. That he has followed her about the world, from Singapore to Metropolis and back again and she is indeed spooked by his behavior.

"I think he's behind us, Zinda."

He wonders if he has approached that line separating sanity from chaos. He wonders if this is what Bruce feels like.

It borders on stalking and he knows this and doesn't like it but cannot stop. She's his sustenance, his sky, his all, and the only piece left of the good life he knew. Before the roof. Before Desmond. Before his body betrayed him. He can still feel Catalina's tongue on his. Her earthy scent. His body yielding. Babs' eyes widening in disgust and awe.

"C'mon skipper, the boy's in love."

So alone and he needs a shower and the lights of the city suddenly come into focus and he is momentarily blinded by the awesome brilliance of the buildings. A radiance that echoes and recalls her own.

"That time has passed."

That fire, the hair, those eyes, the way she laughs, her gracefulness even in her chair. That chair. That which should have stripped her of dignity gave her grace.

He leans back onto the grate and drifts away into the past and he's holding her in the warm sand and it tickles and she's smiling and her mouth is there and she tastes like mint and honey and the sun is blazing and there's water lapping at their legs and she tells him--

"I'll love you forever."

It is later and Kory has eloped to another galaxy with another orange-skinned Romeo and he is alone and he grows his hair long and Babs calls and they eat pasta and he takes her hand in the darkened cinema and she lets him hold it and tells him she is afraid. He cannot remember the movie they saw. He remembers her trembling slightly.

"What happens now?"

Then it is last year and she's rubbing his back while he cries because Bruce can't abandon him, Bruce can't be a killer, he can't leave him, what happens to him now-is he an orphan again, is he on his own, who will protect him? She will;  
she is there, as always, to calm his fears and heat up some milk. He burrows into her sweater and she just rocks him back and forth and back and everything will be all right, love lasts, they are together, nothing else matters--

The blare of horns and traffic jolt him back to reality and he wipes the tears from his stained cheek.

"She may not ever take you back. Accept that and move on. You have to be realistic, Dick. Barbara is a very headstrong and independent woman. You know this."

"But Bruce-"

"Accept whatever happens and move on. There is no alternative."

But she loves him. Bruce doesn't understand, he can't understand  
He will get her back. Today, tomorrow. Always. Like Bruce & Selina, they are soul mates, partners, and best pals. She cannot stay away from him. She adored his body, she ran her fingers across his stomach and chest for hours and he would do back flips while she made pancakes and she'd read the paper while he worked out and she'd kiss him for half-an-hour and swim with him at the Manor and he can't forget, won't forget.

"Are we real, Dick? Will we last?"

"Nothing can stop us, Babs."

He knows this; he must believe it or he will break. She is just taking a break, Dinah is wrong, they are all wrong, she loves him, and it's supposed to be. There can't be anyone else. Never. He smiles to himself. She's mine, we're in love. I can fix this. Bruce taught me I could fix anything.

He must return to Gotham soon.

He has to do his nightly recon of Jason Bard's apartment. Just in case.

END of  
'Fair Delusions'


End file.
